In the Barrel of a Gun

In my head this post makes perfect sense.

I've been wondering lately what it means to find your "place" or "purpose" in life. It's been an introspective time. A time to chide myself for thinking all these grand ideas without ever acting on them. A time to write down all the things I want to do and how I want to shape my life. And most importantly, to actually fucking do them. It's changed a bit over the past couple months.

You've made me rethink a lot of things. Learn some patience. Look deep inside at what makes me tick. I think that, above all else, will be the hallmark of this...relationship?

You told me you found your purpose. Are you sure? Or did you just find some activities and people that make you happy? (Or is that the purpose?) Does anyone ever truly find it? Especially in this medium-big city, with all these damn people, our meaningless jobs, and constant search for companionship in the futile attempt to prevent loneliness. Because for some reason, being on our own is ultimately scary. Why? Some evolutionary yearnings?

I have the best life. But it still doesn't feel like enough. I'm constantly rattling around in my own head. When is enough enough?

I need to step out of this for a bit. Take a physical and mental vacation. I need to step out of you.

Out of my head.